"I'm Never Gonna Die!" Carter Horton (1982-2000)

from Ridding by 23 Missed Calls

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lyrics

I'm done ripping my throat open
Just to convey emotion
And I'm through with all those pseudo love songs I wrote to
Girls I never truly knew
I'm still intact
Yes there were knives in my back
But a whole year after the fact
I'm the one still picking scabs

If everyone else has forgotten
then why do I still bring it up?
Cause while everyone else is moving forward
I chose to remain stuck

So I'll bow my head
and close my eyes
cause it would be a lie
To say I don't wake up some nights wishing I'd died

Started taking steps
Started taking their pills
But they were just relief
They didn't heal
That SSRI pulled me above the rising tide
Drug my head above the waves so I could breath in the summer sky

My head may be above water
But I'm still far from shore
These pills can't sail me to coast line
They're far too small for oars

So I'll bow my head
and close my eyes
cause it would be a lie
To say I don't wake up some nights wishing I'd died

And it's a process putting one foot in front of the other
And taking these pills with a glass of water
And it's a process forgiving the sins of others
And learning to recover on your own
We're moving forward to betterment
We're moving on to become better men

So I'll bow my head
And realize
That it would be a lie
To say that I was done living my life

credits

from Ridding, released December 13, 2015

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23 Missed Calls Midland Park, New Jersey

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