My daily 9-5 is finding faults inside myself and fixing them with someone else
In prayer I sought to find someone that would make me well, this last vestige of myself
But I kept ripping sutures from my wounds, exhuming pain better left tombed, and smothering what good had begun to bloom
All I wanted was just to love, but love is giving wholly of yourself, and emptiness doesn't suit that well
Hey Courtney, won't you love me?
Cause I want everything of which I'm not deserving
My nightly 5-9 is taking the filth inside myself and casting it on someone else
When this noxious heart so vile gets it's sights set wrong for a while, I marinate in the muck and mire
In my tainted detestable state I'll take these wicked hands, and lay my love to waste
But are they my fault, the faults of my heart?
Am I the problem or just the sum of shitty parts?
Hey Ashely, how the fuck could you love me?
Cause I'll push away anything that gets too invested in me
(In general, goodnight...)
released December 13, 2015
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