I wonder what you'd think if you saw me right now?
Falling on the floor, swapping between feeling everything at once
And nothing at all
Cause my rug's been pulled out stirring up a cloud of doubt
Surrounding every aspect of my life
Who do I wanna be?
Do I believe in anything?
Will I ever get to sleep?
But there's no furniture in this goddamn house
So I walk aimlessly around my white suburban town
Once upon a time I swore that I would burn it down
Truth be told there was no reasoning then or now
And in the quite darkness of 3A.M.
I fear the buzzing street lamps are my only companion
These house are hunkered spiders.
Their windows are preying wolves,
Eyes like the blue glow of TV screens.
Jack o'lanterns mouths ready for my ribs.
Is the bend of my back
The purple water in my lungs
The ocean crash of coming cars
These orange-lit trees.
I am the racket of rain on glass
a half moon hidden in clouds.
This time I mean it when I say I'm getting better
Bren says serotonin and friends who withstand harsher weather
Could help me along
And I should probably stop writing songs
About this glass perpetually half empty
Or how your new boyfriend fills me with envy
So I could see that not everything is going wrong
Did I ever write that song?
released December 13, 2015
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